BonJour


Gathering this Friday at my Grandfather's house.See you all.



reagan

every end is a new beginning... right?

hey guys..
this post is gonna be abit emo-ish alright.. i just need to get some stuff out.. i might even end up not posting it but we'll see..

ok so.. i've been in a relationship for 3 and a half years.. today is our 3 year 7 month anniversary.. at least it would be if we were still together.. we kinda broke up a few times in the last year and then we got back together and then we broke up again.. u guys all know right.. well.. 2 weeks ago was the 'real' one..

we were really good together.. i think we were.. i know some of u hate him.. and it really hurt everytime u guys bitch bout him in front of me.. but i do understand why u guys hate him.. so its ok.. i cant stand him either sometimes.. and u guys not liking him was kinda one of the many reasons i chose to end it.. not really reason la but it did push me towards it more..

i just felt 3 years to be a really long time.. and we're changing so much.. maybe we're just not the same people we were 3 years ago.. oh yea.. sarah! i'm soooo happy for u.. u and chris have been through so much together.. dont let him go ya..

anyway.. i'm not sure of what i'm feeling now.. i dont regret breaking up.. i dont think i do.. i know its for the best.. but lately i feel... i dunno how to put it.. lonely?
i just miss having someone to talk to.. to have someone i can pour my heart and soul too.. to have someone who knows u so well and loves u all the same..
i miss knowing that whenever my day sucks ass i can just pick up the phone and everything will be better..
i miss the feeling of getting all dressed up and to have someone tell u look good..
i miss staying up late at night talking bout anything and everything.. i remember me and sarah used to be so dead at school cuz we were up the whole night on the phone..

i just miss feeling loved..

i know its for the better.. and i'm ok.. just a sudden rush of emotions.. haha.. i'm gonna start crying soon if i dont stop.. cant wait for our next gathering.. genting is on!

- steph -

p.s. - looks like i decided to post this after all..

ma second post! =)

First of all why is everyone so emo?? King;my life has been shorten, Stephy;every end is a new beginning??? wtf guys u oni live once, pick yourselves up and enjoy the ride! be like me =D i don't give a shyt wat ppl think just live your life to the fullest extent possible! and King u don't need a gal by ur side to do that... 

Anyway bout me; as usual i aced the thermodynamics exam(100% correct), getting a feeling that it's too easy.. So i've decided to apply to the IVY League! if i get accepted, hopefully PSD will sponsor me.. we all need challenges in our lives this is mine, if i get accepted i'm gonna major in math rather then in engineerin..

So enough bout me, back to 'US'... i went to pick up my bro from school today and it made me miss it even more of course u guys too.. shyt laa i wanna go back to from 5!>>>>>

can't believe this was 2 years ago! look at King and his center partin...hehe

Oh yea my apologies for not attending steamboat, family dinner was a drag but unavoidable.. 

Jsmith signing out! peace! love! manu better win tmr for a double! =)

p.s. i'll be goin to melacca on the 30th may and then goin to tioman! hehe should be interesting... i'll be back on the 2nd june.. so just postpone my big surprise party and get it done later..

-


Well.Life is currently so ****** up now.

Everyone has their thing to do.Their special someone to care for.Call to talk.Something to make them push forward in life.It seems like my life has just been shorten not in the physical sense but everything in it.

I wish I could just do this all day long and not think about my life.


A tribute to Paramore by the boys of This Providence.
Misery Business Vol [I].

Thanks Ade for the recommendation.

Paramore and This Providence Rock!

Me again

I Just got Stabbed in the Heart
I'm Waiting to Bleed to Death..


Current Song : Whatever it Takes - Lifehouse

A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

Me

Down to the Wire


I swear to be a Mancunian all my life & I'll stick to it.Glory Glory Man United!

Win or Lose.Red Devils for life!

Give no Damn to whatever Avram say.It's bullshit.Let's see who'll win.
It'll be over in 2 hours from now.

Toast to Manchester United.



Me

I fear Sunrise will come & You'll dissappear
Seems like I'm Always on My Own..


I just don't know how long I'll last before I fall.. I used to love Me.I used to be the only person to get rid of everything from my mind.I know.I believe.There used to be a decent Past and a bright Future.Dare to Dream.

Now.I'm right here.Not the man I used to be.Good or Bad? I don't know.I'm caught in between.The Past is falling down on me HARD & the Future doesn't look that good anymore.I'm lost.I'm disconnected.Everything bad is catching up real fast.


Sad to say.. college is the total opposite of Paradise.I do not find comfort in anything I do there.I've never found peace.Everyone is breathing on my neck.I feel pressured.I feel betrayed many many times.
Coming back home will only give me a neutral feeling.I am in between 4 walls.great.
The only place I can find what I want is when I'm with You people.But I'm starting to lose hope.I just feel dumb sometimes.I'm just clapping with one hand.Everyone of You has your own priority.This may not be it.I can understand to a certain extend but I really gotta get this out of me.Some is just plain dumb![Some of you won't even HAVE the time to freaking read this]. Time is flying by.We're getting older by the day.We should have something memorable each year.Counting "MINUTES INTO YEARS".But I'm seeing that I'll just leave the world this way, which will be the regret of my life.
I don't know what may be in your head.Does friendship means being pressured into coming for "gathering".Does friendship means coming for "gathering".What is friendship? really.How much do we mean to each other? Just verbally? Pretty much that way as far as I can see.As much as presented upon me.It's just that.

Looking back in life.. All the blood & sweat shed unto this relationship we shared is pretty much worth it.All those things that may be dumb to others.I'm glad I did.Just for You.But in life you just can't help thinking.All the effort you put in compared to the result itself.It's just Heaven & Hell.
Looking back again.I think.. Ron's pillow has been soaking in my tears many times.All the "incidents".All about us.Damn.I've thought of just walking away.Really just walk far far away in search of something that God will lead me to.But I never did.I never gave up either.What may be next.I do not know.

There's just so much to say.to express.but sometimes its just a waste of time.Its more of how we really feel.
I feel sick & tired.I feel weak.I feel like I'm ready to quit & stop the race.I feel like I'm ready to explode.


- -


I feel like telling you I LOVE YOU & look into your eyes knowing I mean it.I do not need to care what everyone else say.Screw the world.Why bother.I do not wanna fake those 3 words.I will not fake everything I tell you.
Life is a Theatre Stage but I REFUSE to be it's Actor.I wanna be Me.I want You.I need You.
Who gives a damn about people.Therefore proposal is an act of courage not to act macho.
"Would You allow me to share your life? All your burdens, your sorrows, your love, your happiness.Everything about You."


I just feel weak.I refuse to stand up and walk anymore.I'm not gonna act on that stage.I just need something that will take me away.Just take me as I am or not at all..



Life is Screw up! Damn Damn Damn..



I'm backing off from life.Just leave me.

end of story [I]
*disconnect*





Tingy

stress-ness

no one's updating again.....!!!

i'm having finals tomorrow.. sigh.. i'm gonna die i'm gonna die!! u wont be hearing much from me for a month la.. miss me k..

i've been so stressed la..
not even for spm!
haha..

anyway.. american idol finale is coming soon! i think its gonna be battle of the davids la! but i hope david A. goes out next week.. so it'll be my husband and syesha left.. then DAVID COOK will definitely win!! haha..

ok thats all..
back to studying..
oh yea..
after my finals we're going karaoke ok!!
all of us!!
i booked u guys d ah!

-stephy-

The madness is back!!!

Sorry...sorry...the madness is not back.. just that i feel a bit mad today... MAN U won wat so naturally la...hahaha...good day for Man U..but then Nani, haihz.. real dumb thing to do... headbutt for wat... then act some more... teach him a lesson...anyways nothing much to blog... just that i promised the KING! that i'll blog.. heheh

+bingbangboom+

doubtness

I m still wondering why the response of going for our gang's gathering is so difficult. It has been always me and ting who planned most of the gathering(don't get offended guys and girls; I gotta say it out) Im thinking what if we didn't planned out any gathering, will there be any gathering for our gang? And even we planned, it has never been a complete full 9 of us gathered together. I know some of you might be busy on that day, but you can actually tell and inform us when you are free. And if you are nearby some of us, try to give a call and maybe we can just meet up; regardless of how long it will be.


-RonISback-

Ron's POEM(copied and edited)

People who I can talk to
You all who I can trust.
You all who will be there
When my relationships rust.

You all who will save me,
When everything goes wrong.
You all who will comfort me
And help me to be strong.

You all who listen.
At any time of day.
You all who will brighten
Any sky that’s gray to me.

You all who will always
Want to be my closest friend.
You all who will fight for me,
Until the bitter end.

You all who will cry with me(I have never cry with you all,hehe)
Whenever I am sad and down.
You all who will laugh with me
Whenever I am glad.

You all who will understand
My every weird emotion.
You all who will always be
At my side with their devotion.

You all who will always think
Of me before themselves.
You all who will care for me
And put their own worries onto shelves.

You all who will always let
Me act like the true me.
You all who will always be
Just like I want to be

You all who will always remain
Incredibly beautiful and true-
You all who are my bestest best friends
Will always remain in my heart and soul

=RoN=

L.O.V.E From Yesterday..


Consider this as Part [II] - Just take a good look at all our old posts.All those memories we made together.I got an e-mail recently thats really meaningful.It goes something like this..

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, or
Saying nothing and wishing you had?

I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.

If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs.


Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?

Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.
You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own........when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?

Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?

We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we
don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.

But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.

Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.

* What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?

*What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?

*What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)

*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?

*What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?*

People live, but people die. I want to tell you that
you are a friend.

If you died tomorrow (God Forbid)

you would be in my heart.
Would I be in yours?


You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next, and don't want to talk at all the year after that.

So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life,

I look up to you, respect you, truly cherish you , most of all I CARE about friends

Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will.

At least Stephy is responding to the call to keep this blog alive.Lan & Ron.Both of you were like one of the "founding fathers".
Lan you came up with our introduction for the blog.Ron you promised to keep on going having to have your new blog.And everyone else..


Me again

=)

haha.. i dunno wat to write for title..

david cook is still safe!! he's gonna win la.. he better win! i'll sue america if he doesnt.. haha.. brooke went out this week.. sigh.. she was sooo sad.. i wanted syesha to go out la.. dunno why but i just dont like her.. hopefully she goes out next week.. i cant imagine who'll be in the finals.. it might be the battle of the davids.. haha.. big possibility ok!

anyway.. did u guys hear bout the austria case??!! omg right! wat the hell is the guy's problem la.. kept her daughter captive for 24 years!! as a sex slave!! and had 7 children with her! his own daughter! AND 3 of the children has never seen daylight!! how can there even be such ppl la! wat is happening with the world! sigh!

i dunno wat to write anymore......
haha..
finals in 10 days!
woooot!
haha..

- stephy -