every end is a new beginning... right?

hey guys..
this post is gonna be abit emo-ish alright.. i just need to get some stuff out.. i might even end up not posting it but we'll see..

ok so.. i've been in a relationship for 3 and a half years.. today is our 3 year 7 month anniversary.. at least it would be if we were still together.. we kinda broke up a few times in the last year and then we got back together and then we broke up again.. u guys all know right.. well.. 2 weeks ago was the 'real' one..

we were really good together.. i think we were.. i know some of u hate him.. and it really hurt everytime u guys bitch bout him in front of me.. but i do understand why u guys hate him.. so its ok.. i cant stand him either sometimes.. and u guys not liking him was kinda one of the many reasons i chose to end it.. not really reason la but it did push me towards it more..

i just felt 3 years to be a really long time.. and we're changing so much.. maybe we're just not the same people we were 3 years ago.. oh yea.. sarah! i'm soooo happy for u.. u and chris have been through so much together.. dont let him go ya..

anyway.. i'm not sure of what i'm feeling now.. i dont regret breaking up.. i dont think i do.. i know its for the best.. but lately i feel... i dunno how to put it.. lonely?
i just miss having someone to talk to.. to have someone i can pour my heart and soul too.. to have someone who knows u so well and loves u all the same..
i miss knowing that whenever my day sucks ass i can just pick up the phone and everything will be better..
i miss the feeling of getting all dressed up and to have someone tell u look good..
i miss staying up late at night talking bout anything and everything.. i remember me and sarah used to be so dead at school cuz we were up the whole night on the phone..

i just miss feeling loved..

i know its for the better.. and i'm ok.. just a sudden rush of emotions.. haha.. i'm gonna start crying soon if i dont stop.. cant wait for our next gathering.. genting is on!

- steph -

p.s. - looks like i decided to post this after all..