Minutes into Years

I fear Sunrise will come & You'll dissappear
Seems like I'm Always on My Own..


I just don't know how long I'll last before I fall.. I used to love Me.I used to be the only person to get rid of everything from my mind.I know.I believe.There used to be a decent Past and a bright Future.Dare to Dream.

Now.I'm right here.Not the man I used to be.Good or Bad? I don't know.I'm caught in between.The Past is falling down on me HARD & the Future doesn't look that good anymore.I'm lost.I'm disconnected.Everything bad is catching up real fast.


Sad to say.. college is the total opposite of Paradise.I do not find comfort in anything I do there.I've never found peace.Everyone is breathing on my neck.I feel pressured.I feel betrayed many many times.
Coming back home will only give me a neutral feeling.I am in between 4 walls.great.
The only place I can find what I want is when I'm with You people.But I'm starting to lose hope.I just feel dumb sometimes.I'm just clapping with one hand.Everyone of You has your own priority.This may not be it.I can understand to a certain extend but I really gotta get this out of me.Some is just plain dumb![Some of you won't even HAVE the time to freaking read this]. Time is flying by.We're getting older by the day.We should have something memorable each year.Counting "MINUTES INTO YEARS".But I'm seeing that I'll just leave the world this way, which will be the regret of my life.
I don't know what may be in your head.Does friendship means being pressured into coming for "gathering".Does friendship means coming for "gathering".What is friendship? really.How much do we mean to each other? Just verbally? Pretty much that way as far as I can see.As much as presented upon me.It's just that.

Looking back in life.. All the blood & sweat shed unto this relationship we shared is pretty much worth it.All those things that may be dumb to others.I'm glad I did.Just for You.But in life you just can't help thinking.All the effort you put in compared to the result itself.It's just Heaven & Hell.
Looking back again.I think.. Ron's pillow has been soaking in my tears many times.All the "incidents".All about us.Damn.I've thought of just walking away.Really just walk far far away in search of something that God will lead me to.But I never did.I never gave up either.What may be next.I do not know.

There's just so much to say.to express.but sometimes its just a waste of time.Its more of how we really feel.
I feel sick & tired.I feel weak.I feel like I'm ready to quit & stop the race.I feel like I'm ready to explode.


- -


I feel like telling you I LOVE YOU & look into your eyes knowing I mean it.I do not need to care what everyone else say.Screw the world.Why bother.I do not wanna fake those 3 words.I will not fake everything I tell you.
Life is a Theatre Stage but I REFUSE to be it's Actor.I wanna be Me.I want You.I need You.
Who gives a damn about people.Therefore proposal is an act of courage not to act macho.
"Would You allow me to share your life? All your burdens, your sorrows, your love, your happiness.Everything about You."


I just feel weak.I refuse to stand up and walk anymore.I'm not gonna act on that stage.I just need something that will take me away.Just take me as I am or not at all..



Life is Screw up! Damn Damn Damn..



I'm backing off from life.Just leave me.

end of story [I]
*disconnect*





Tingy