First of all, I owe everyone an apology and I'm really sorry for fading away from the gang and everything I did all these while.

I know I have been mixing alot with my collegemates rather than the gang. Im extremely sorry. I actually felt kinda afraid and shy to ask you guys out or meet up after what I've done. I kinda felt left out too sometimes. But, no matter what, you jantans and betinas are and will always be my only bestest best friends. I've not put in my effort to get back into the gang.

Thinking back all the moments, I really miss those moments we used to hangout almost everyday.

Ting-I've been disappointing you alot. But still, you have kept the faith in me all these while and putting so much effort to get the gang back along. Thanks alot Ting. I still miss the times you, Tinesh, Josh and Saara staying over at my place and CC for 3 hours and have dinner after that. And I can still remember you puked in my room while you were laughing. haha

Tinesh- I have known you since standard 4. Basically, we went through alot since primary, from my grandpa sending you home and in secondary my dad and your parents sending us to school. Even our parents know each other and I miss your mom's cooking so badly.

Josh- I have known you the longest in the gang. We have been friends for 14 years man. Lost in contact when we were in year 4 but somehow, we met again and became classmates in form 1. I guess this is fate. The one who bring the same food to school and eat during class periods. BREADS! haha

Lan- I enjoyed the best moments in form 4 and 5, sitting beside you and behind the lovely dovey couple. Passing you my stuff during spot-checks. and skipping physics classes for PJ and little casino behind the class. haha.

KenNie- New to the gang, old to me, since primary, you and I were already good buddies since primary. And now, you and I are the mata sepets in the gang. hehe

Saara- You are always the typical Indian man to me and a real joker. You are the only one who bullies me all the time and the big bully in the gang.

Steph- You ll always be my mommy. I miss being called kuai chai. You are the one I can always ask and talk about girls. And why mamypoko??

Sarah- Little man! I have not seen you for ages. You are the only one in the gang I can bully. I miss bullying you.

Jojo- You are the one who has the same thing as me. blurness. haha. I miss you!

Again, I am really sorry and thanks alot for keeping the faith in me. I promised that from now, I ll put in more effort and time to the gang.

i'm sorry.

i have not found new friends as replacements. i dont think there's anyone who can ever replace how i feel when i'm around u all. so here's my version of ting's post.

aaron - i still think of u whenever i see mamipoko (if thats how u spell it). you'll always be my taxi driver.

josh - i can still remember your old hp number back when we were 'a couple'. 016-3026670! i miss shopping and lunching with u and i miss the feeling when i hug u and you're the only person tall enough that i have to tiptoe. i see the hush puppie dog every night on my shelf and i think of bobbette.

ian - whenever i see any IT crap i still think of u. now that i'm doing law i think of u even more. you're always the calm one, always trying to think reasonably. and the one who makes no sense to me half the time.

saara - the minute i hear 'dum be cha lei' i think of u. you were always the only one among them who dared to physically hurt me.

ken nie - you're new and i havent lepaked with u much but you're always gonne be claudine's first attempt at our gang.

tinesh - i'm not mad at u. i think deep down u were just an excuse for how i was feeling. i really dont blame u for anything and i'm sorry. i think of when i see anyone who has dimples. and when i think of bbqs.

tingy - i miss u. i think i made u go thru hell and back. i think of u every week while watching idol. i think of u when i feel like talking. i think of bluetooth. black dinosaur.

sarah - i miss talking to u. u were always the one who i could bitch to. bout anyone and anything. i need to gossip.

joe - i miss your blurness. i miss gossiping with u too but u were always the nice gossiper. never gossiped bout anyone. u just listened.

as much as i complained bout the jantans not treating me like a girl, i like it alot. i felt so comfortable around all of u. i could be myself since u all know me inside out. i could say what i wanted when i wanted.

i'm still the same steph u all know. i know i've been a real bitch but i swear it has nth to do with u guys. i know i've been treating u all like crap but maybe its cuz u guys are so close to me. u know how they say we always hurt the ones you love. i think its true now. i think i've just been taking advantage of the fact that i think you're all gonna still be here when i want u to be.

lunch saturday?

Bought some souvenirs from Kota Kinabalu . though its nothing much . should we meet up?

I was having a light chat in the car with Tinesh when we were out once . we joked about this many times but this time around he asked me to post this in the blog eventhough the blog is pretty much dead and even he knows his name will be in it .. he really wanted me to write this.

the main question that sparked this whole thing off is .. "Who should I really call when Im dying?" - I asked

Tinesh laughed from the driver seat the way he usually does but deep down he gave a quick thought as well . He then replied me .. "call your parents" with a look on his face I totally understand and he knew I did.

He then said.. you know you should call your parents right .
I replied .. not only I know . It seems to be my only choice now

*the conversation continues .. be aware that some of the comments are harsh but some of you isn't any less compared to me . not trying to gain any sympathy . just wanna express this the way I used to do . but also take note that some are jokes that our gang usually share and laugh off among ourselves . Also .. throughout this whole conversation .. Tinesh was laughing his ass off.

then I said .. "If I dont call my parents, is there any hope in calling you guys? "[seriously hoping for any tiny chances]

even Tinesh replied himself .. "seriously . I dont think you can get through us" . and he added on comments that I usually say .. " If you call Josh, probably his mom will pick up and say that he's playing football", "Steph rarely picks up calls and replies message nowadays right? its my fault","Ian is in UK, you can call him but whats the point, you're dying", "Saara .....[long pause]... I think he's really afraid to pick up your call", "Aaron..I dunno" ,"and KenNie, you can try give him a call".

and I ended it .. " I can't call you as well, when you pick up, I'll be dead already!" we both laughed at it.

--

well if you remember the times that we had as a gang .. this is a typical joke-like conversation we always have wherever we go . In the car to the mall, during trips, dinner time etc.
But as time passes by .. it seems to be coming true . maybe only to me . or 50% to you? I dunno .

*the more I write, the more I feel I should be telling the truth .. so here goes . It might be harsh but some I just wanna patch things up the way it used to be . some of you might have already found comfort in new friends, some thinks Im just going through this period of life, some decide not to accept it, some is just to busy earning money and only have time for self-pleasure and some others . I find comfort in our friends who still stay through times [minus talking bad about those not with us] but I hope we can still be able to do things the way we used to or at least once before I go overseas . If you decide this is offensive, there's nothing I can really do about it .. I lowered the the level of offensiveness already . If you decide what I suggest or said is wrong and decide to go against it . I cant do anything about it as well .*


Aaron - You mentioned that you dont feel like you're apart of the gang only until you pay back my debts . honestly though, it seems like you're able to pay back but rather it was spent somewhere else? so is the money an excuse? .. I've been saying I just want you back in the gang over and over again . even sometimes with disagreement of others .. I really want you to just hangout back like normal [though it takes time to rid the awkwardness we've built through time] . I dunno if its too late now, if I were to go overseas .. my wish is still the same but its up to you what your choice is .

Josh - In recent years, I find myself being more proud of you . mainly of your initiative in hanging out with us [minus the part where you dont join us cause you dont eat many types of food!] . I still find you annoying me the way you used to but it wouldn't be Josh if you dont do those sort of things.

Ken Nie - I glad you're part of us now . or who should I be calling now? stay away from conflict and be yourself :] . love SNSD more!

Lan - can you please dont shock me suddenly! inform me of new "things" before I actually see them myself! and come back fast!

Saara - you can just keep avoiding my calls and avoiding meeting up . apparently ONLY MY phone calls your phone cant accept . they say you're afraid of me .. a muscle man like you . its not something Im proud of .. cause on the other hand, you could just be telling people .. you're not scared, just annoyed by me . either way, I wished you just pick up calls, call me back like you said you would and just spend a little more time with us . I know I should be saying, I would be happy even if we just hangout once or twice but NO . I wished we hangout more . I miss the Saara I used to hangout with . and the friend who used to look after me . now when we meet up . we're a little like strangers . please dont treat me like a fool as if I dunno things you tried to bullshit me with . I overlook it . just come back

Stephy - I shouldn't be saying things as directly as it is to a girl . I'll try my best to put it in a right manner . First of all .. Tinesh is really sorry for what he said to you . he wanna personally apologize to you . I wished you'd meet up with us now . as in NOW . because the longer our meetup is .. it feels like we're just further apart and more awkward . what happened to "us" and the spirit of our gang? I know the feeling of 'not feeling like socializing' but this is our gang we're talking about . it really seems like you gave up on us . the more answer we cant get from you . Tinesh blames himself more . I can deny him once . twice . thrice . but it seems like slowly .. Im believing its really his fault .
dont stop telling me stuff . dont stop msging me . dont stop picking up my calls . because if you do . similarly .. it will get to my mind that you're planning to leave?

Sarah & Joelyn - I havent talked to you both much . I know both of you may have a fair share in the pressures of life . I used to see you both like the peacemaker of our gang . timid ones but good enough to make us all happy as a "family" . now I wished you girls can spread some magic powder and make us stick back as a family .

Tinesh - you spent alot of time with me and the remaining 'hangout' gang members and Im thankful for it . we point out things to each other and learn from each other . I've said what I need to .. directly to you . so all I'll say here is that .. please listen!

--

its a long one . its all honest with my emotions . if at any point you decide to take it the wrong way .. and hate me . I cant do anything about it . you all know me and how I usually say things . those who will stick with the gang is doing so . those who fell out.. Im pointing out and wished it'll all come back . honestly . we dont have much time . maybe just me . Im planning to go overseas in a couple of months time . some might leave later . so you all decide what we should do?


PS - there is a trip to Sitiawan we're planning to . early June .


Tingy :]

Most unbelievable of the unbelieveables....

Cheng Stephanie doing law? OMG.... Haha, who would have thought so. Considering all the time she was quite the Bio person, I wouldn't have guessed it. I'm not sure about the others, but I sure am. You guys should get together some day and SKYPE me!!! ok?

+bingbangboom+

I NEED A GLUE

hey guys,wat is goin on???the friendship is like breaking slowly....and steph,i owe u a big apology,i'm really very sorry,and i really hope that you are not mad anymore...as usual,i'm not good with words...but we really need to stick up, c'mon guys....

Malacca . here we come again!
get jealous Lan xD

Hello my friends!

Yo dudes! freaking cold wei over here. cannot tahan man. the wind is strong here and it gets dark so bloody early la. not solid at all. :( u guys come on skype la someday. i'll chat with u all. oo, btw im working at a restaurant called gekko as a kitchen helper. :p

See u guys soon!

+bingbangboom+

I miss you . where are you?

heylow....!



hello kawan-kawan ku! haha.. i'm so bored la! i'm at uni punyer library now.. supposed to be studying but not in the mood.. so i blog! woot woot!

gathering sometime this week la k.. since jojo is back as well.. friday night? we go karaoke! haha.. dunno why been craving karaoke.. i wanna sing taylor swift punya you belong with me-e-e-eh!

genting how la machas! sometime next month la k.. i think the proposed date was november 14 itu weekend kan? 1 hari also puas la if cannot 2 hari.. we need gatherings! we all leaving everywhere soon.. tak syok la.. we should go lagoon as well! haha..

wat else arh.. hmmmm.... my rashes no more d! got a bit la but at my feet only.. so i dont look disgusting anymore.. tingy, u can start eating my sweets d now.. i can hug joshy also! haha..

ok la itu saja.. dunno wat else to say d..

thank you bai bai!!

p.s. happy anniversary joshy baby! :D

gee gee gee gee baby baby baby..

-stephy-licious- haha!

busy week!

dont really have time to be in my room for the past few days. Mostly out buying groceries cause eating out is insane man. Btw. I got myself a new phone. Hehe. I can facebook from it. Solid gila bapak

Hello Homies!

Reporting live from the Middle East. Currently in Dubai International Airport! I'll have to wait another few more hours to wait before my connecting to Newcastle. Damn boring now. Will let u guys know when i reach my destination! Ciao for now

Happy 09/09/09! i just realized . our blog's 2nd year anniversary also coming up . sumwhere around 29th if Im not mistaken


tingy . chikeedeepaopao

Whattheshitman!.